Books

There’s a book called ‘The Chronicles of Corporal Crag’. Eleven takes it from the shelf and has a closer look… ‘But as we marched ‘cross the rolling plains and meadows, encounters with roaming monsters grew more frequent. ‘Twas not long ere we met with the most dreaded of them all—the dragon. ‘Clad head-to-toe in scales hard as stone, neither sword nor spear could make but the slightest scratch in the beast’s hide. It seemed certain to slay us to a man… ‘I swung my blade in wild desperation. Somehow, a blow connected and sent the great lizard reeling. We fled without a moment’s hesitation, fearing that it might soon regain its composure. ‘To this day, I know not why my attack had the effect it did, but I and every one of my men owe our lives to this miraculous quirk of fate.’

There’s a scrap of paper hidden in between two books. Eleven takes it from the shelf and has a closer look… ‘There’s nothing I love more than the longing looks of those slum-dwellers who pass beneath my balcony and gawk at my treasure chest with their hungry eyes. ‘The envy of the unwashed masses is well founded, for the chest holds my greatest treasures. But I rest easy in the knowledge that it remains completely inaccessible. ‘Just as I did yesterday and today, tomorrow I shall bask in the covetous glance of the rats scurrying below! Ahahahaha!’

There’s a book called ‘A Brief History of Heliodor’. Eleven takes it from the shelf and has a closer look… ‘Situated atop rocky cliffs, Heliodor was never blessed with fertile soil or bounteous rains. Farmers could never reap a plentiful harvest from its earth, which all agreed was barren. ‘But one day, in search of a land to call their own, two brothers came to these unwelcoming wilds, and began a daring attempt to reclaim them from nature. ‘Many sneered at their seeming folly, but the brothers paid them no heed, and toiled on. A grand irrigation system soon saw the soil brought to life, and their first yield of crops exceeded all expectations. ‘Their deeds united the farming families around them, and a new, united realm soon sprang up from the transformed land with the two brothers as its kings. Thus was born the nation of Heliodor.’

There’s a book called ‘A Spotter’s Guide to Monsters’. Eleven takes it from the shelf and has a closer look… ‘Intrepid Adventurer! If this book should impress upon you one thing before you set out on your quest to see the world, let it be this: ‘The monsters that roam the land at night are far more fearsome than those that appear during the day! ‘Heed these words well, adventurer, and go abroad in the evening only if you are prepared to meet the dangers that await you.’

There’s a book called ‘A Blacksmith Abroad, by Haul Bellows’. Eleven takes it from the shelf and has a closer look… ‘My name is Haul, but most know me as the Wandering Blacksmith. Throughout my travels, I have heard many a rumour of a particularly wondrous little forge. ‘It is said that one can throw any number of odds and ends into it, and in doing so produce countless fabulous creations. But surely these stories are too fanciful to take at face value? ‘Yet should there be some truth to them, a wise adventurer would do well to hold on to whatever oddments they find on their travels—who knows what they might be turned into!’

There’s a magazine entitled ‘Down and Out in Downtown Heliodor’. Eleven takes it from the shelf and has a closer look… ‘In last month’s issue, we shed some light on the lesser-known highlights of Heliodor’s historic city centre. This month, we’d like to take a moment to talk about the city’s diverse downtown district. ‘The land this quarter occupies once served as a defensive trench, but with the town’s population growing by the day, new arrivals had no choice but to make their homes in this ditch beyond the walls. ‘Soon, the bustling shanty town had attracted a whole host of colourful characters, and came to be known as a place of great risk, but also of great opportunity. ‘Downtown Heliodor’s struggle with crime is no secret, but for some thrill seekers, it offers an excitement found nowhere else. Do you dare take a walk on the wild side?’

There’s a book called ‘The Lurid Allure of the Dingy Dungeons’. Eleven takes it from the shelf and has a closer look… ‘Far below the basements and storerooms of Heliodor Castle, deep within its very bowels, lie the dungeons that house the most heinous and hardened criminals in the kingdom. ‘Many who have been locked away in these cold, dank cells have not lived to see the outside world again. ‘Those whose crimes are deemed truly unforgivable are thrown into the deepest cells of all, from which it is said to be all but impossible to escape. A death sentence in all but name… ‘Take care to stay on the right side of the law, dear reader, lest you too be locked up, and the key thrown away forever.’

There’s a book called ‘The Soldier and the Strategist – A Tale of Two Heroes’. Eleven takes it from the shelf and has a closer look… It appears to be a detailed biography of the two great knights who protect the kingdom of Heliodor.

There’s a book called ‘The Soldier and the Strategist – A Tale of Two Heroes’. Eleven takes it from the shelf and has a closer look… ‘No matter how ferocious an assault the monsters may launch against Heliodor, this great kingdom shall not fall, for two heroic figures will stand in the path of any attacker. ‘The first is Sir Hendrik, a warrior without equal. Countless times has he ridden his colossal black steed Obsidian fearlessly into the heart of an oncoming assault, scattering the enemy like so many leaves. ‘He is chivalrous to a fault, and considered by many to be the greatest swordsman in the world—even the vilest, most towering troll dare not stand its ground when faced with his whirling greatsword. ‘The second half of this gallant duo is the shrewd and ingenious Sir Jasper. Regarded as the sharpest military mind of the age, he has led heavily outnumbered forces to glorious victory again and again. ‘Though as a swordsman he may be no match for Sir Hendrik, his ability to analyse any battlefield and quickly arrive at the ideal strategy for the situation at hand is unrivalled. ‘With these two great men—the Swordsman and the Strategist—to protect it, Heliodor need fear no foe.’

There’s a book called ‘National Treasures, No. 106 – The Shield of Heliodor’. Eleven takes it from the shelf and has a closer look… ‘Our tale begins with the first king of Zwaardsrust and his retinue resting at a Heliodorian inn after many days’ hard travel. ‘A great black dragon heard the news and, deciding that this would be the perfect opportunity to slay the king of Zwaardsrust, launched a blazing assault on the city. ‘As the citizens of Heliodor flew into a panic, a lone knight stood before them with his arms outstretched, doing all that he could to protect them from the foul lizard’s wrath. ‘So greatly moved was the king of Zwaardsrust by the knight’s selfless bravery that he presented him with a fine shield in the shape of a great black dragon scale. ‘To this day, that fabulous treasure can be found in Heliodor. The King may choose to present it to any knight he deems worthy of the honour and responsibility of the role it represents: first knight of the realm.’

There’s a book called ‘Drustan’s Armour’. Eleven takes it from the shelf and has a closer look… ‘The mermaid princess led King Drustan deep beneath the waves to an undersea realm, where the citizens were engaged in a contest of strength, wrestling one another in order to be recognised as the strongest. ‘“If you can defeat my father,” the princess told him, “he will grant you my hand in marriage…” ‘And thus the two kings fought. But so perfectly were these warriors matched that though they wrestled for seven days and seven nights, neither could claim victory. ‘So awestruck was the king of the ocean at the warrior king’s might that he offered him not only his daughter’s hand in marriage, but also one of the great treasures of his realm. ‘From this treasure—a lustrous, scarlet scale as strong as steel and as light as silk—the warrior king forged a beautiful suit of crimson armour. ‘But he could not wed the princess, for he was a man of his word, and had not defeated her father. He turned his back on his beloved and, to her dismay, left the undersea kingdom, never to return…’

There’s a massive, boring-looking book here entitled ‘Proceedings of the 36th Annual Conference on Heliodorian Development’. Eleven heaves it down to take a closer look… The margins are filled with mouth-watering drawings of cakes and tarts! Each picture is accompanied by detailed notes describing the fabulous flavours of these delectable desserts! ‘— Scrumptious Strawberry Mousse — The exquisite pairing of fluffy, delicate mousse with ever-so-slightly sour strawberries is a match made in heaven!’

There’s an old, time-worn diary covered in a child’s scribblings. Eleven takes it from the shelf and has a closer look… With faltering lines, someone has drawn what appears to be a pair of…matchsticks? One of them has a beard, the other is wearing a ribbon. Beneath the illustration it says ‘my dady an me’.

There’s a book called ‘King Carnelian: Behind the Throne’. Eleven takes it from the shelf and has a closer look… ‘Having seen several generations of his line, I can say with some certainty that King Carnelian is a rare breed of monarch, possessed of all the qualities required in a truly great leader. ‘Both loved and feared by the populace, he is like a father to them—kind yet stern, firm yet fair. Not since the days of the great kings of old has our nation been so blessed. ‘Though his face may have grown hard and lined since the terrible events that took place those few short years ago, some might say that this has added a certain…depth that improves him yet further. ‘To have so resolutely overcome such grief and yet still led his nation boldly onward is surely a sign that Carnelian is a king among kings.’

There’s a book called ‘Erdrean Geographic’. Eleven takes it from the shelf and has a closer look… ‘Of the many nations, both large and small, that make up Erdrea, there are five—the so-called “Great Five”—that stand above all others in the eyes of the world. ‘Ancient and honourable Dundrasil, steadfast and stony Heliodor, Gallopolis with its noble desert knights, Sniflheim with its snow-capped towers and last but not least, Zwaardsrust, carpeted in flowers. ‘These five nations guide the world, meeting every few years at the great conference known as the Colloquy of Kings in order to steer the course of Erdrean affairs in a direction agreeable to all.’

There’s an ancient book here. The binding is almost completely worn through, and Eleven can only just make out the words ‘Ye Drustaniad: Secrets of ye Heart’ on the faded, threadbare cover. He tries to read a page or two, but something tells him he’s not quite ready yet…

There’s an ancient book here. The binding is almost completely worn through, and Eleven can only just make out the words ‘Ye Drustaniad: Secrets of ye Heart’ on the faded, threadbare cover. ‘Though I have written much concerning the techniques by which a warrior might perfect his craft, these techniques are all as naught if he be not sound of heart and mind. ‘Come what may, a calm, clear spirit shalt see thee through. ‘Tis in ye heart that victory is won.’ Eleven has uncovered one of Drustan’s teachings, and learned the Secret of the Spirit.

There’s an old, time-worn diary covered in a child’s scribblings. Eleven takes it from the shelf and has a closer look… With faltering lines, someone has drawn what appears to be a pair of…matchsticks? One of them has a beard, the other is wearing a ribbon. Beneath the illustration it says ‘my dady an me’.

There’s a book called ‘National Treasures, No. 106 – The Shield of Heliodor’. Eleven takes it from the shelf and has a closer look… ‘Our tale begins with the first king of Zwaardsrust and his retinue resting at a Heliodorian inn after many days’ hard travel. ‘A great black dragon heard the news and, deciding that this would be the perfect opportunity to slay the king of Zwaardsrust, launched a blazing assault on the city. ‘As the citizens of Heliodor flew into a panic, a lone knight stood before them with his arms outstretched, doing all that he could to protect them from the foul lizard’s wrath. ‘So greatly moved was the king of Zwaardsrust by the knight’s selfless bravery that he presented him with a fine shield in the shape of a great black dragon scale. ‘To this day, that fabulous treasure can be found in Heliodor. The King may choose to present it any knight he deems worthy of the honour and responsibility of the role it represents: first knight of the realm.’

There’s a book called ‘The Deadly Denizens of the Celestial Sands’. Eleven takes it from the shelf and has a closer look… ‘In this volume, I shall describe a select few among the countless ferocious monsters that infest the harsh, unforgiving dunes of the Celestial Sands. ‘The Spitzfire: A naturally nocturnal beast that spends the daylight hours asleep (thankfully). Should you ever be unfortunate enough to happen upon one, take good care not to wake it. ‘The Slayer of the Sands: An enormous arthropod that has slain too many brave Gallopolitan knights to count. It is thought mainly to prowl the very centre of the Celestial Sands. ‘The Cactolotl: Swimming through the sands as if they were water, it attracts its prey with a scent like that of cactus flowers. Few have seen it and lived, but all who have agree that it is the true lord of the desert.’

There’s a distinctly old-fashioned looking history book entitled ‘The Guardians of the Star’. Eleven takes it from the shelf and has a closer look… ‘Whatever could have led people to brave the harsh desert heat and make their homes in the arid land of Gallopolis? To answer this question, we must go back to the very founding of the nation. ‘What records remain of the gallant men who first settled here refer to them as the Guardians of the Star. It is safe to surmise that their descendants went on to become the current royal family of Gallopolis. ‘We cannot know for sure how these first men came to earn such a title, but more than a few have speculated upon a link with the nation’s renowned knights and the numerous checkpoints they guard…’

There’s a book called ‘Wanderers No More: The Gallopolitan Circus’. Eleven takes it from the shelf and has a closer look… ‘Our humble circus was once like many others—a travelling spectacle that traversed Erdrea from one land to another. ‘But when our itinerant troupe finally arrived in the great kingdom of Gallopolis, the people were so warm and enthusiastic that the Sultan himself suggested we stay. ‘But we were wanderers at heart. We belonged on the road. With tears in our eyes, we turned down this most generous offer, and regretfully left the friendly people of the desert behind. ‘But when next we returned, what we saw amazed us all: the Sultan had ordered the construction of an enormous, beautiful big top in which we might ply our entertaining trade! ‘Each and every one of us was so moved by this grand gesture that the decision to remain was unanimous. The rest, as they say, is history!’

There’s what appears to be a diary here. It has ‘Prince Faris’s Progress’ written on the cover. Eleven takes it from the shelf and has a closer look… ‘Day 21. My beloved Prince attended his horse-riding lessons once more today. ‘To see him training day in and day out to be the greatest leader he can be for the noble knights of Gallopolis fills me with hope for the magnificent future he will no doubt usher in for our realm! ‘Day 24. My beloved Prince left the palace today and went out into the streets to speak with the common people. ‘He seeks to study the lifestyles of his subjects first-hand—what a wise and benevolent young man he is! I have no doubt he will make a great sultan some day!’

There’s an ancient book here. The binding is almost completely worn through, and <cc> can only just make out the words ‘Ye Drustaniad: Secrets of ye Flame’ on the faded, threadbare cover. <LM_Gender_cc(He,She,It)> tries to read a page or two, but something tells <LM_Gender_cc(him,her,it)> <LM_Gender_cc(he,she,it)>’s not quite ready yet…

There’s an ancient book here. The binding is almost completely worn through, and Eleven can only just make out the words ‘Ye Drustaniad: Secrets of ye Flame’ on the faded, threadbare cover. ‘One single word encapsulates all that I have learned of the art of offence in my long and storied career: “fire”. ‘As ye fire sweeps unbidden and unbound through ye fields, so sweep through thine enemies, striking swift and true. No defence can stand before such an onslaught.’ Eleven has uncovered one of Drustan’s teachings, and learned the Secret of Offence.

There’s a book called ‘The Power of Positivity: A Ruler’s Handbook’. Eleven takes it from the shelf and has a closer look… ‘We have all heard what they say: should one wish to be a great leader, one must be positive at all times—and it is true! ‘Who would want to follow a mopey, indecisive man anywhere? Nobody, that is who! So forget all those negative thoughts and think positive! ‘Lie flat on your back, gaze up at the big, blue sky and feel your troubles melt away like the petty, insignificant irritations they are! ‘Say goodbye to the old you—the negative you. There is a bright and positive future waiting for you, so step right up and take it!’

This book was frozen solid before, and now that the ice has melted, it’s completely soaked through! The ink has run, and the writing is completely illegible…

There’s a book called ‘Sun, Sea and Scandalous Swimsuits’ with some young ladies in bikinis on the cover. Eleven takes it from the shelf and has a closer look… It’s full of photographs of perky young women in skimpy swimwear, bouncing about on the pristine white sands of a summery beach. ‘Hooray! Every day is summer here on Paradise Beach! It’s hot, hot, hot, and right now it’s time for the breaststroke grand finals!’ It seems like it might have been designed to…keep lonely souls warm on cold winter nights…

There’s a book called ‘Memoirs of a Treasure Hunter: Volume IV’. Eleven takes it from the shelf and has a closer look… ‘This is the diary of Sudo Nim, treasure hunter extraordinaire. In my search for the Rainbough, I had almost made my way to the city of Sniflheim, where I had heard I’d find the greatest minds in Erdrea. ‘But my plans changed, as plans have a way of doing. On my way, I came across a young man collapsed by the roadside, and nearly buried in heavy snow. I couldn’t just leave the poor lad be—I had to help him! ‘The poor boy was frightful sick, and delirious with fever. I could scarce make head nor tail of his twaddling, but there was one thing he kept repeating: “Have to get home, have to get home”… ‘Hearing these words over and over reminded me of how long it was since I’d been back home myself. I’d be lying if I said a pang of homesickness didn’t play a part in making me want to help him. ‘And so it was that I put my plans on hold. The Rainbough could wait. I made up my mind then and there to get the lad back to his village far away. ‘At the first inn we stayed at, we met a doctor from the desert who, as luck would have it, was heading the same way. No road is long with good company, as they say, so we decided to journey onward together.’

There’s a tourist pamphlet called ‘The Rough Planet Guide to Sniflheim’. Eleven takes it from the shelf and has a closer look… ‘Though the individual snowflake is a tiny, beautiful crystal lighter than sparrow’s down, the snowdrift is a vast and crushing mass of ice. ‘The average house is not designed to support this kind of weight. Many are surprised to learn how easily a few days’ heavy snowfall can crush one flat. ‘But the buildings of Sniflheim are not so easily laid low. Their unique, slanted roofs displace the snow as it accumulates, causing it to slide safely to the ground below. ‘This distinctive design, thought by many visitors to be a mere quirk of architecture, is in fact a life-saving technique passed down through countless generations.’

There’s a book called ‘The Crystal Kingdom: A History of Sniflheim’. Eleven takes it from the shelf and has a closer look… ‘Erdrea’s far north is a forbidding land of boundless snowfields and freezing, icy winds. To call this an uninviting place would be quite the understatement. ‘But thanks to one explorer serendipitously losing his way deep within the cold, dark forests there, the incredible Royal Library was discovered. ‘Scholars and sorcerers from far and wide came to gaze upon the contents of its shelves, crammed from floor to ceiling as they were with the better part of mankind’s collective knowledge. ‘The area soon became a hub of research and learning, and the nation of Sniflheim grew up around this community of scholars.’

It looks like an old diary of Rab’s. <cc> takes it from the shelf and has a closer look… ‘Ever since the day I ceded the throne to young Irwin, the lad has poured his heart and soul into making Dundrasil the greatest kingdom it can possibly be. ‘He was never raised as royalty, and I must admit, I shared some of my subjects’ doubts about whether or not he was truly suited to rule at first. ‘But now I know I made the right choice. He soon gained their trust and respect—and mine as well. The entire nation is united behind him. ‘My dear Eleanor has made a very fine choice of husband indeed—which means I can get on with enjoying my retirement!’

There’s a book called ‘The Book of Erdwin’. <cc> takes it from the shelf and has a closer look… ‘Chapter I — Song of Beginnings — ‘World Tree’s gift, first of many, Bold, bright, blessed Luminary. ‘Thy light doth a shadow cast, Lo, the Dark One—bleak, black, vast. ‘Chapter II — Song of Prayer — ‘World Tree’s foot, a plea, a prayer, Ringeth through the mountain air, ‘Babe is born, Tree’s will revealed, “Serenica”—Luminary’s shield.’ The book is filled with many more such important-sounding poems. <cc> carefully closes it.

There’s a book called ‘Curios of the Lost Kingdom’. Eleven takes it from the shelf and has a closer look… ‘Many hundreds of years ago, before the kingdom that stood on the site of Nhou Wat was reduced to ruins, its wizards created some of the most advanced magical devices our world has ever seen. ‘The nation’s chancellor, in his loyal devotion to king and country, invested greatly in the development and distribution of vast numbers of these artefacts, many of which have survived to this day. ‘Among them, perhaps the most commonly encountered nowadays are the magic doors that protect vaults and strongrooms the world over, and which can only be opened with the fabled magic key. ‘Imagine the bankers’ and quartermasters’ dismay when Nhou Wat fell, and the chancellor disappeared forever…along with the key they so desperately needed!’

There’s an ancient, tattered tome entitled ‘Of Spirits and ye Plane Beyond’. Eleven takes it gently from the shelf and has a closer look… ‘This tome concerneth     realm               all but invisible. However               within dwelleth,                    spirits or sprites, faint yet ‘Mayhap                    even time itself                                                   ’ The pages are faded and torn beyond the point of legibility. Eleven cannot make out any more of the text.

There’s a book called ‘Sibyls, Sorceresses and Sundry Seers: A Compendium’. Eleven takes it from the shelf and has a closer look… ‘Chapter 6: The Witch Who Sought Eternal Beauty Long, long ago, in a cold and desolate land far to the north, there was born a girl more beautiful than any other in all Erdrea. ‘But though she was fair, her heart was small and ugly, and she detested the very idea that another might ever be prettier than she. Her boundless self-regard meant that she could love only those who fawned over her. ‘The girl soon realised that age would rob her of the one thing she held dear, and, fearing this more than anything else in the world, she turned to the dark, forbidden magic of witchcraft. ‘Through the use of warped and wicked spells, she turned her blood to freezing water, colder even than ice. And though the cost was high, she gained what she sought—eternal beauty. ‘But her soft, pink skin turned a chilling shade of blue, and her breath was cursed, freezing solid in an instant anything it touched. ‘They say that of the ninety-nine men who followed her to the ends of Erdrea to sing songs of her beauty from morning till night, not a single one escaped being turned to ice by her kiss…but nobody knows for sure. ‘For of those ninety-nine men, not a single one ever returned from the frozen forest of the Hekswood…’

There’s a tatty old book entitled ‘A Storm from the North’. Eleven takes it from the shelf and has a closer look… ‘Immediately identifiable by their fierce and blood-curdling war cry, the vicious Vikings are known to many as the Terror of the Northern Seas. ‘They are known for their love of pillage and plunder, and the stories tell of their sailing up and down Erdrea’s northern coastlines, bringing chaos and ruin to every town and village in their wake. ‘But such bloodthirsty raiders comprise only a small part of the Viking population. The majority of this hardy people are honest men and women—traders of considerable competence. ‘Should you ever happen to encounter a member of this intriguing tribe, be sure to greet them with a warm smile and a full goblet. Do so, and you will have a stalwart ally for life!’

There’s an old book entitled ‘The Worst Curse’. Eleven takes it from the shelf and has a closer look… ‘My story starts innocently enough: I was walking through the forest one day when I came across a leger-de-man. It hadn’t seen me, so, overcome with curiosity, I decided to sneak up and take a peek inside its robes. ‘It noticed immediately, and flew into a rage! “How dare you embarrass me like that!”, it bellowed. “You’ll soon see how you like it!” And with that, it stormed off. ‘Ever since that day, my life has been one embarrassment after another! There’s not a doubt in my mind that this is the work of the leger-de-man and the terrible curse it placed upon me. ‘When I start my prayers at chapel, I suddenly need the lavatory! If I try to talk to a lady, I become so distracted that I forget what to say! And in combat, I am struck dumb with thoughts of previous failures! ‘Mark my words, dear reader—this is the most embarrassing curse in all Erdrea! I call it Shypox. Alas, even my powers of imagination have been rendered cringe-inducingly weak by it! ‘And now, even as I write this, I realise my britches have been unfastened this whole time! Truly, this curse is a force to be reckoned with!’

There’s an old book entitled ‘The Sealing of the Serpent’. Eleven takes it from the shelf and has a closer look… ‘Long, long ago, in the frozen land of the north, there lived a great black serpent that terrorised the people of Sniflheim. ‘One day, a brave young man came forth and bested the dragon in battle. Having done so, he sealed it away in the ice of the frozen lake of the Snærfelt, such that it could never break free. ‘But that great hero has long since passed away. Should the beast ever escape its icy prison, Sniflheim will surely fall under its cruel gaze once more…’

There’s an old book entitled ‘Applied Ring Theory: Ageing Yggdrasil’. Eleven takes it from the shelf and has a closer look… ‘Cut down a tree, and upon the exposed stump you will see a pattern of rings, the number of which will be equal to the number of years the tree has lived. ‘But what of Yggdrasil? Were we to fell that greatest and most ancient of trees, would we see such rings? And how many might there be? ‘Just how many years has the World Tree been up there watching over us all? ‘I suspect that the existence of our arborescent guardian predates that of even Erdrea itself. That its history stretches back further than mere human minds are capable of comprehending…’

There’s an ancient grimoire entitled ‘Of Ye Forbidden Deed’. Eleven takes it gently from the shelf and has a closer look… ‘            most forbidden                     terrible power                 Time’s               shattered           world                  shalt fall to ruin                    ’ The pages are faded and torn beyond the point of legibility. Eleven cannot make out any more of the text.

There’s a book called ‘The Stalwart Stone’. Eleven takes it from the shelf and has a closer look… ‘There once was a world, in which there was a kingdom, in which there was a town that had been brought to the brink of destruction by monster attacks more times than could be counted. ‘Life was so hard for the poor villagers, and the fear and stress so great, that they pled with the wisest man among them—a hunched, grey, old man—to do something. ‘The old man thought and he thought and he thought some more. He could not save the village by the strength of his own arm—he did not know how to fight, and was far too old to learn. ‘So he set his mind to seeking out another solution. Lost in thought, he paced hither and yon through the village…until he tripped upon a small stone and fell flat on his backside! And that is when an idea struck him. ‘“This tiny stone was so sturdy and strong that it brought a man hundreds of times its size to his knees. Imagine what a piece of rock hundreds of times bigger again might do…” ‘And so the old man got to his feet, and though dust and mud still covered his hands and face, he swore then and there to make a mighty stone warrior powerful enough to protect the town.’

There’s a very, very old book entitled ‘Of Ye First Age’. Eleven takes it gently from the shelf and has a closer look… ‘Long, long ago             age of             gathered together                    Lo, ye forgotten                    a people lost to time              ’ The pages are faded and torn beyond the point of legibility. Eleven cannot make out any more of the text.

There’s a book called ‘The Great Guardian of the Hekswood’. Eleven takes it from the shelf and has a closer look… ‘Ancient legends tell of a mighty and mysterious beast that lives deep within the heart of the Hekswood, a frozen forest on the Snærfelt steppe. ‘Many generations ago, the people of Sniflheim worshipped this creature as their guardian spirit, and would offer up their thanks for the bounteous blessings they believed it bestowed upon them.’

There’s a book called ‘The Great Guardian of the Hekswood’. Eleven takes it from the shelf and has a closer look… ‘Ancient legends tell of a mighty and mysterious beast that lives deep within the heart of the Hekswood, a frozen forest on the Snærfelt steppe. ‘Many generations ago, the people of Sniflheim worshipped this creature as their guardian spirit, and would offer up their thanks for the bounteous blessings they believed it bestowed upon them. ‘The beast’s name, it is said, was Jörmun, and after many painstaking years of research, we can at last hypothesise as to its origins. ‘All signs seem to point to its being a creature born originally of purely evil energies. Let us call this form Malicious Jörmun. ‘Malicious Jörmun is all but impossible to slay permanently by conventional means, be they physical or magical. It merely absorbs the power of its attacker, and is soon restored to life. ‘The only way to defeat it and have it stay defeated is to deal the finishing blow with a powerful lightning spell—Zap, Zapple and Kazap being the most well-known examples. ‘A great hero with the necessary assistance might even attempt to lay mighty Jörmun low with the devastating technique known as Kazapple. ‘Our theory is that this powerful electrical surge might jolt the creature out of its black funk, causing it to be reborn as Holy Jörmun, Great Guardian of the Hekswood.’

There’s an ancient book. <cc> can only just make out the words ‘Ye Wizard’s Canticle – Book I’ on the faded, threadbare cover. But it’s magically sealed, and <LM_Gender_cc(he,she,it)> can’t read it…

There’s an ancient book here entitled ‘Ye Wizard’s Canticle – Book I’. This must be the sealed grimoire of Morcant’s that the monk at Angri-La told Eleven about. He recites the mantra that he learned from the monk, and the spell protecting the book is broken! He opens the cover and begins to read… ‘Hear me, O spirits of ye great realm of Erdrea—realm of boundless skies, of bottomless seas, of endless plains—heed my call!’ It must be part of the incantation Morcant used to make his magic more powerful. Eleven carefully commits it to memory.

There’s an ancient book. <cc> can only just make out the words ‘Ye Wizard’s Canticle – Book II’ on the faded, threadbare cover. But it’s magically sealed, and <LM_Gender_cc(he,she,it)> can’t read it…

There’s an ancient book here entitled ‘Ye Wizard’s Canticle – Book II’. This must be the sealed grimoire of Morcant’s that the monk at Angri-La told Eleven about. He recites the mantra that he learned from the monk, and the spell protecting the book is broken! He opens the cover and begins to read… ‘Grant unto me thy power, that I might protect this beauteous world and thy children, its peoples, from ye foul machinations of that most vile and villainous of beasts—ye Dark One!’ It must be part of the incantation Morcant used to make his magic more powerful. Eleven carefully commits it to memory.

There’s an ancient book. <cc> can only just make out the words ‘Ye Wizard’s Canticle – Book III’ on the faded, threadbare cover. But it’s magically sealed, and <LM_Gender_cc(he,she,it)> can’t read it…

There’s an ancient book here entitled ‘Ye Wizard’s Canticle – Book III’. This must be the sealed grimoire of Morcant’s that the monk at Angri-La told Eleven about. He recites the mantra that he learned from the monk, and the spell protecting the book is broken! He opens the cover and begins to read… ‘Lend me thy might—fleeting and ephemeral, sublime and blinding! Rain down upon me thy glorious luminance!’ It must be part of the incantation Morcant used to make his magic more powerful. Eleven carefully commits it to memory.

There’s an ancient book here. The binding is almost completely worn-through, and <cc> can only just make out the words ‘Ye Drustaniad: Secrets of ye Firmament’ on the faded, threadbare cover. <LM_Gender_cc(He,She,It)> tries to read a page or two, but something tells <LM_Gender_cc(him,her,it)> <LM_Gender_cc(he’s,she’s,it’s)> not quite ready yet…

There’s an ancient book here. The binding is almost completely worn-through, and Eleven can only just make out the words ‘Ye Drustaniad: Secrets of ye Firmament’ on the faded, threadbare cover. ‘One single word encapsulates all that I have learned of ye art of defence in my long and storied career: “earth”. ‘Like ye earth beneath thy feet, thou must needs be solid and unyielding. As steadfast as ye mountain itself. Though thy foes may strike, their strikes shall be as rain upon ye cliff face!’ Eleven has uncovered one of Drustan’s Secrets and learned the Mysteries of Defence.

The passage of countless years has taken its toll, and reduced this ancient tome to little more than a faded cover around some tattered scraps of paper and thread.

The passage of countless years has taken its toll, and reduced this ancient tome to little more than a faded cover around some tattered scraps of paper and thread. …But wait! There’s a letter, worn and faded but still legible, hidden inside! It looks like the rest of the message that the minstrel in Arboria mentioned. Eleven takes a closer look… ‘But wherefore must it be so? This world may be unchanged—as beauteous as e’er it was—but without thee, all seemeth grey and muted… ‘My chest is fit to burst! My dearest Erdwin, each new day I must endure without thee pierceth my heart like a dagger! ‘I can do naught but cling vainly to the hope that one day we might be reunited at last. Until then, my songs are thine and thine alone. I pray that they might reach thee, wherever thou might be…’

There’s an ancient book here. The binding is almost completely worn through, and <cc> can only just make out the words ‘Ye Drustaniad: Secrets of ye Waters’ on the faded, threadbare cover. <LM_Gender_cc(He,She,It)> tries to read a page or two, but something tells <LM_Gender_cc(him,her,it)> <LM_Gender_cc(he’s,she’s,it’s)> not quite ready yet…

There’s an ancient book here. The binding is almost completely worn through, and Eleven can only just make out the words ‘Ye Drustaniad: Secrets of ye Waters’ on the faded, threadbare cover. ‘One single word encapsulates all that I have learned of ye art of movement in my long and storied career: “water”. ‘Flow, swift and formless, like ye stream. Be like water, and thou shalt avoid ye blows of even thy swiftest foes.’ Eleven has uncovered one of Drustan’s Secrets and learned the Mysteries of Movement.

There’s a notebook with ‘Dunstan’s Corking Compundium’ written on the cover. Eleven takes it from the shelf and has a closer look… ‘Incredible! Absolutely incredible! The puns keep flooding into my mind! I’ve never experienced anything like it! ‘Get a load of this one—we could show visitors around the great stone spire beyond the village…and call it the Cobblestone Tour! ‘And there’s plenty more where that came from! They just won’t stop! It’s like divine inspiration! ‘Here’s another—the mother said she’d throw her son from a cliff if he didn’t eat his vegetables…but it was a bluff! ‘It’s like the God of Hilarity has granted me His holy blessings! I must tell Gemma right away!’

There’s a book called ‘Tour de Horse: Equestrianism for Young and Old’. Eleven takes it from the shelf and has a closer look… ‘For the longest time I simply could not understand what all the fuss was about horses. To me, they always seemed such skittish and dangerous animals. ‘But all that changed when I was finally convinced to ride one. Such grace! Such speed! I was speechless! What a fool I’d been for all these years, refusing to even entertain the idea of riding one! ‘And the way my faithful steed rushes to my aid the moment I ring the bell, no matter where I am in Erdrea—it moves me near enough to tears every time! Such loyalty! Such nobility! ‘Long live the horse! I dare not imagine a life without one now those heavenly hoofbeats have clip-clopped their way into my heart!’

There’s a book called ‘The Diary of Tetsu the Smith’. Eleven takes it from the shelf and has a closer look… ‘Part One: A Dream is Born ‘My name is Tetsu. I am forty-eight years old. I am a blacksmith. ‘This morning I sat, An amazing coin I spied— Wondrous workmanship! ‘I made enquiries, Spent all day and learned its name: The mini medal. ‘I must leave Hotto And find the coin’s creator, Learn how it was made. ‘Do not fear, mother— I shall return a hero! A smith without peer!’

There’s a picture book entitled ‘The Tale of Miko and Ryu’. Eleven takes it from the shelf and has a closer look… ‘Brave Miko and Ryu, Protectors of the village, Scourge of the monsters. ‘Foul creatures attacked In numbers beyond counting, They drove them all back. ‘Yet there was one beast— The dragon of the mountain— They could not suppress. ‘But at last, success. The dragon was defeated, Though at what a cost… ‘Ryu was lost to us. Slain by foul Tatsunaga. Never forget him.’

There’s an ancient diary that seems to have been written by a High Priestess of old. <cc> takes it from the shelf and has a closer look… But there’s nothing of interest inside.

There’s an ancient diary that seems to have been written by a High Priestess of old. Eleven takes it from the shelf and has a closer look… ‘Hotto’s fortune grew. Great piles of shining treasure, Tall as Mount Huji. ‘Our stores overflowed, The glimmer lit the night sky, The surplus was moved. ‘Great treasures, Bloodstone, Look down upon the peak’s fire, Reached by the back path…’

There’s a book called ‘Noah’s Art’. <cc> takes it from the shelf and has a closer look… ‘Almost anyone who’s spent time among the less reputable people of Erdrea is bound to have heard of Noah, a man who trades in gossip and information of all kinds. ‘From the name of the local barber’s mistress to the deepest, darkest secrets of the royal family, he knows every titbit of tattle and every scrap of scandal on every single street corner in the land. ‘But how does this mysterious figure come into possession of all these sensitive secrets? Many an intrepid investigator has tried to uncover his sources, but each and every one of them has failed. ‘But one thing is certain—his sense for a scoop is the stuff of legend. Some even say that on the day he was born, he pointed to the eastern sky, and that hours later, a storm rolled in from just that direction!’

There’s a picture book called ‘Somewhere Under the Rainbow’. <cc> takes it from the shelf and has a closer look… ‘Once upon a time, on a lovely summer’s day, a rainbow appeared in the sky. The weather was so warm and relaxing that it made the rainbow sleepy, and he let out a great big yawn. ‘As he yawned, a single tear fell out of the corner of his eye, and the sparkling sunlight split it into seven different coloured lights, from which little baby lamplings were born! ‘The leafy lampling with his bright green cap of leaves, the luminous lampling with his brilliant blue flame, the lurid lampling with his shining yellow body… ‘But the red light was jealous of his beautiful brothers, so he gobbled the orange and violet lights up whole! ‘As punishment for this terrible sin, he was turned into the lava lampling. Horns grew from his head, and he was banished to hell, where he dwells to this day.’

There’s a book called ‘Doge Rotondo: The Best in the Business’. <cc> takes it from the shelf and has a closer look… ‘Only a few short years ago, Gondolia was little more than a sleepy port town, but in the course of less than a decade, it has been transformed into what most agree is now the trade capital of Erdrea. ‘And who was it who brought about this stunning and sudden change? None other than Doge Rotondo, the current mayor. He attributes his success to avoiding one common pitfall: the fear of failure. ‘Business stops for nothing as far as this pioneer of profiteering is concerned—neither the fiercest of storms nor the most virulent of onboard plagues will convince him to stop a ship from sailing. ‘And this never-say-die attitude has paid off handsomely—the countless cargos that flow through the port every minute of the waking day are a testament to his fierce tenacity.’

There’s a book called ‘Viva Signor Universo!’. <cc> takes it from the shelf and has a closer look… ‘As proud citizens of the city of Gondolia, we must show to the world the most wonderful example of ourselves that is possible. And for our inspiration, we look to none other than the sea which surrounds us! ‘We must be as strong as the waves that buffet the ships in a storm, and as gentle as the breeze which fills the sails! ‘And what better way could there be to show the best of what our Gondolian men have to offer than the magnificent, fiery, feisty and fabulous Signor Universo contest! ‘So I say to all you salty, sweaty, strong young men: aim for the top! Be the best that you can be! And make Gondolia proud! — Doge Rotondo, First-Ever Signor Universo Winner’

There’s a book called ‘The Diary of Tetsu the Smith’. <cc> takes it from the shelf and has a closer look… ‘Part Two: A Dream Is Chased ‘My name is Tetsu. I am forty-eight years old. I am a blacksmith. ‘In Gondolia, A clue to the medal’s source From a strapping man. ‘Far beyond the sea, A school for medal hunters Lies in a valley. ‘He says that this place Teaches the medals’ secrets. I must learn them too. ‘A return to school— Funny perhaps at my age, But this is my dream. ‘Do not fear, mother. I will become a great smith, And return home soon…’

There’s a book called ‘Memoirs of a Treasure Hunter: Volume I’. <cc> takes it from the shelf and has a closer look… ‘This journal tells the tale of the adventures of a humble treasure hunter. I hope that it might prove at least an amusing diversion for those who choose to read it. ‘My name is of little consequence, but if you must call me something, call me Sudo Nim. ‘So, what prompted me to set out on my quest? Well, the Zwaardsrustian Chief Minister’s offer of one million gold coins for a certain artefact played no small part in my decision. ‘Legend has it that hundreds of years ago, when the Luminary returned from Yggdrasil, he brought something back with him: the Rainbough. ‘When I heard that this little stick could make me a millionaire, I didn’t even take the time to pack—I was on the road in a flash! ‘And so began the adventurers of Sudo Nim, treasure hunter, and the quest for the elusive Rainbough…’

There’s a brochure called ‘The 125th All-Erdrean Masked Martial Arts Tournament’. Eleven takes it from the shelf and has a closer look… ‘Welcome to the latest, and without a doubt the greatest, Masked Martial Arts tournament! Here’s a sneak peek at just a few of the teams that’ll be stepping into the ring this season for their shot at glory! ‘The Underdigger and the Abominable Showman: These muscle-bound heavyweights are ready to come down like a ton of king slimes on any opponent foolish enough to face them! ‘Liu Za, the Flying Dragon of Angri-La, and Golden Boy, the King of Charisma: They may look nothing alike, but these two brothers in justice make a killer combination! ‘The Beaty Queens, Sinderella and Whambelina: This delicious duo need no introduction—their looks alone are the stuff of legend, and their combat skills are just as sweet! ‘Who will emerge victorious? Who will lift the crown? There’s only one way to find out, folks—come on down!’

There’s a book called ‘The Diary of Tetsu the Smith’. Eleven takes it from the shelf and has a closer look… ‘Chapter Three: A Dream Dies ‘My name is Tetsu. I am forty-eight years old. I am a blacksmith. ‘Black disappointment. The medal school forbids men— It is a girls’ school. ‘The guard at the gate Bars the path to instruction, And so dies my dream… ‘Wait for me, mother. Though I am not a great smith, I bring sweet flowers!’

There’s a book called ‘The Chivalric Ideal’. Eleven takes it from the shelf and has a closer look… ‘Chivalry. All who dare to call themselves knights cherish this above all else. It is the criterion by which our worth is weighed. ‘Do not shirk in your duties or your training. Strive to exceed your limitations, be they physical or mental. At all times, and whoever you may encounter, be well-mannered and gentle. ‘But more sacred than any of these instructions is this: should you set yourself a goal, should you make a promise, do not fail to achieve it. Do not allow yourself to be swayed from your path. ‘Never—never—go back on your word. He who does so cannot claim to be any kind of knight. Take this firmly to heart, lest all your years of training be in vain.’

It looks like somebody’s diary. Eleven takes it from the shelf and opens it at random… ‘At today’s tournament, Señorito Norberto defeated Señor Hendrik! Words can scarcely express how thrilled I was to see such a display! He has grown mighty indeed!’ Eleven skips forward several days… ‘Señorito Norberto left today. I wish he would have at least said something before disappearing like that…’ Eleven skips forward yet further still… ‘A year has passed now since Señorito Norberto’s departure, and still we hear nothing. I pray that he is safe…’ The rest of the diary seems to be filled with similar entries.

There’s a book called ‘The Diary of Tetsu the Smith’. Eleven takes it from the shelf and has a closer look… ‘Chapter Three: A Dream Dies ‘My name is Tetsu. I am forty-eight years old. I am a blacksmith. ‘Black disappointment. The medal school forbids men— It is a girls’ school. ‘The guard at the gate Bars the path to instruction, And so dies my dream… ‘Wait for me, mother. Though I am not a great smith, I bring sweet flowers!’

There’s a book called ‘Memoirs of a Treasure Hunter: Volume II’. Eleven takes it from the shelf and has a closer look… ‘This is the journal of Sudo Nim, treasure hunter extraordinaire. I came to this village after catching wind of a rumour that a schooner carrying the Rainbough was wrecked somewhere in Erdrea’s southern seas. ‘In exchange for a couple of my best maps and charts, I enlisted the aid of the finest fisherman here. We dredged near enough the whole blessed ocean, but all we came back with was a few tasty scallops for tea. ‘So I’ve been spending a quiet evening in the bar enjoying our tasty catch, the village’s local brew and the company of the landlord’s beautiful daughter. ‘She tells me that my friend the fisherman is engaged to be married. He doesn’t seem too keen on the arrangement, though. I shouldn’t be surprised if he turned out to have his eye on someone else… ‘But it’s late now and growing dark. I may not have found the Rainbough, but I’ve had a lovely day, and met some even lovelier people. Ahh, the traveller’s life suits me down to the ground!’

There’s a book called ‘Dave: Legend’. Eleven takes it from the shelf and has a closer look… ‘Despite his humble beginnings as a farmer’s son, our hero’s winning personality and superior physical strength enabled him to quickly climb the ranks of the Zwaardsrustian Royal Navy. ‘But when his beloved king fell, he became a pink-masked privateer, striking fear into the hearts of the vilest scum of the seas, and expressing his grief in an incident that soon became infamous the world over. ‘With the help of a mysterious travelling entertainer friend, he somehow managed to paint the mast of every ship in the inland sea—frigates, freighters, clippers and caravels—a shocking shade of pink. ‘Even to this day, that bold and brilliant gesture is burnt into the memories of seafarers everywhere, and the name “Dave” into the hearts and minds of admirers everywhere.’

There’s a large illustrated encyclopaedia entitled ‘The Deadly Denizens of the Deep’. Eleven takes it from the shelf and has a closer look… ‘The Fourth Deadly Denizen: Mermaids Mermaids are easily recognised, their upper halves taking the forms of human women, and their lower halves those of fish. ‘Their voices are prodigiously beautiful, and many a man has been sent peacefully to sleep by their dulcet tones, only to be dragged down through the inky depths to have his soul devoured. ‘Should you ever spy a beautiful woman in the water while at sea, do not call out to her, no matter how tempted you may be. ‘For she is almost certainly a mermaid, and will want nothing more than to sing you sweetly to sleep—a sleep from which you will never awaken.’

There’s a hand-drawn book entitled ‘Living With Me Under The Sea’ with ‘To Kai, my guy, from Michelle, your belle.’ written on it. Eleven takes it from the shelf and has a closer look… ‘Oh Kai, I just can’t wait to live with you beneath the sea! A few rules just to help you settle in more easily: ‘First, don’t panic—take it slowly, breathe a nice deep breath, Panicking while swimming is a recipe for death! ‘Next, no teasing—just because a fish looks small and meek, His mum might be ten times your size, then you’ll be up the creek! ‘Third, don’t look up—I’m not sure if you’ve seen how water flows, But waves can often send the current right up in your nose! ‘Fourth, clean your gills—they’re like your lungs, try not to get them blocked, A bit of grit and you’ll be in for quite the nasty shock! ‘Last but not least, think of others—selfishness is wrong! It’s obvious I know, but it’ll help you get along!’

There’s a book called ‘The Astonishing Inventions of Gismo Mecánico’. Eleven takes it from the shelf and has a closer look… ‘Among the many fabulous creations left behind by the renowned engineer Gismo Mecánico, perhaps the best known is the stunning ship known as the Salty Stallion. ‘No other vessel in Erdrea can match this incredible craft in terms of beauty and speed, a quality experts tell us is imparted by its uniquely shaped prow. ‘Most boats are designed to cut through the water like a knife, but the Salty Stallion weaves through it instead like a needle through silk, leaving barely a wake behind it as it dances across the waves. ‘Its motion recalls that of the very man who commissioned it—a renowned entertainer and close personal friend of the ship’s designer.’

There’s a book called ‘Wat Really Happened: The Destruction of Nhou Wat Explained’. Eleven takes it from the shelf and has a closer look… ‘The events leading to the fall of the kingdom that stood on the site of Nhou Wat remain shrouded in mystery, but thanks to recent research on the topic, some details have finally come to light. ‘In nations whose populations die out gradually, tombs and grave sites are left behind as the survivors lay their dead to rest. ‘However, no signs remain of any tombs, crypts or even mass graves dating from the period of this particular civilisation’s collapse. ‘Which would seem to suggest that whatever happened here happened quickly enough that no one remained to bury the dead. ‘Two other ruined kingdoms have followed the same distinctive pattern: the once-great nations of Zwaardsrust and Dundrasil. ‘Could the same fate that befell those two realms also have befallen the civilisation of old Nhou Wat—to wit, sudden and catastrophic monster attack?’

There’s a book called ‘Memoirs of a Treasure Hunter: Volume III’. Eleven takes it from the shelf and has a closer look… ‘This is the journal of Sudo Nim, treasure hunter extraordinaire. After hearing a rumour that the Rainbough was being offered as a prize in exchange for ninety-nine mini medals, I hurried to this school. ‘Of course, I should have known it was too good to be true. The prize on offer was nothing more than a Drasilian soldier’s uniform (in a fetching shade of navy, mind you). ‘A rugged, practical outfit like that would be perfect for most adventurers, but it was a touch too tight around the belly for me, which made the sting of disappointment all the sharper. ‘My journey wasn’t a complete waste, however—the fine young ladies of the academy told me of the kingdom of Sniflheim, where some of the most knowledgeable minds in all of Erdrea congregate. ‘If anywhere holds a clue as to the whereabouts of this accursed Rainbough, it’ll be Sniflheim. I’m eager to head out, but first I’ll need to find somewhere to spend the night. I can’t spend it here…’

There’s a picture book entitled ‘Wish Upon My Star’. On the cover is a picture of a woman lying in bed, stroking a young boy’s hair. Eleven takes it from the shelf and has a closer look… ‘My dear Nisay, don’t cry. Mama will not disappear forever. ‘I will ask Yggdrasil to make me a star, and place me high up in the sky. ‘And whenever you are sad or lonely—and even when you are happy—you can look up and see me watching over you. ‘So, my dear Nisay, don’t cry. Keep your eyes dry so you can turn them upward and find Mama.’

There’s a tourist pamphlet called ‘The Rough Planet Guide to Phnom Nonh’. Eleven takes it from the shelf and has a closer look… ‘Since its discovery deep within the ruins, the beautiful, smiling mural of Nhou Wat has gained something of a reputation for blessing visitors with good fortune, drawing sightseers from across the world. ‘The ruins themselves are thought to be all that remains of a once-powerful civilisation that was destroyed under mysterious circumstances hundreds of years ago. ‘But what could have spelled the end for so large a kingdom, blessed with such natural riches, and nestled within the safety of the mountain valleys? This is an enigma that has long troubled historians. ‘A king gone mad, driving his own legacy to ruin? An unforeseen and unprecedented natural disaster? A concentrated and cataclysmic attack by monsters? Hypotheses abound, but the mystery remains unsolved. ‘When you pay a visit to Nhou Wat, be sure to visit the mural and enjoy the blessings it gives, but spare a thought too for this once-great kingdom, and the tragic loss those ruins represent…’

There’s a book called ‘Don’t Go Hungri: The Local Delicacies of Angri-La’. Eleven takes it from the shelf and has a closer look… ‘It’s widely agreed that Angri-La’s unique style of cooking grew out of the need to provide delicious nutrition for the monks to perform their gruelling training while still adhering to a strict vegetarian diet. ‘Perhaps the temple’s most famous dish is the legendary Bam Bam Noodles, which are served only at special festivals. Claims that this is the most delicious food in all the world are certainly not unfounded. ‘The meal is said to symbolise pride in one’s achievements, and anyone capable of making the arduous mountain climb in order to taste them first-hand has every reason to be pleased with themselves!’

There’s a book of wisdom entitled ‘The Sutra of Angri-La’. Eleven takes it from the shelf and has a closer look… ‘The master teaches that man is the world, and the world is man. To devote oneself to good deeds is to serve the world. To bring goodness into the world is to protect it. ‘The master teaches that through suffering, we learn of ease. That through sadness, we learn of joy. To love mankind and thereby the world—this is our duty. ‘Man is the world, goodness serves the world, learn good things from bad, and thereby love the world. These are the wisdoms of Angri-La, realm beyond the clouds. These are the precepts by which we live.’

There’s a book called ‘On the Nature of the Naughty Stick’. Eleven takes it from the shelf and has a closer look… ‘The grand masters of Angri-La wield a mighty weapon whose name echoes through the ages. I speak not of the Wavecutter Scimitar, nor of the Staff of Torn Clouds—no, I speak of the Naughty Stick. ‘The origins of this legendary tool of instruction can be traced back to the very founding of Angri-La. It is said that the Stick itself chose the very first grand master. ‘Some believe that it was carved from a branch of Yggdrasil, and that even a dragon could not break it, though it tried with all its might. ‘Of course, it is best known for its use in punishing young monks for lapses of focus. The pain it inflicts is rumoured to be so severe that acolytes fear that their very souls have been spanked from their bodies.’

There’s a tourist pamphlet entitled ‘Girl About Town: Puerto Valor’. Eleven takes it from the shelf and has a closer look… ‘Start your day with a lazy morning relaxing by the water, and enjoy a traditional breakfast of pancakes with coconut sauce and strong Valorian coffee. ‘Then make your way to the beach, where you can sun yourself while enjoying a good book and snacking on delicious tropical fruit. The sweet, juicy flavours of fresh Valorian produce simply can’t be beaten! ‘Once the day starts to cool, make your way to the casino and try your luck at the tables until it’s time for dinner at the hotel’s world-class restaurant. The chef’s special is out of this world! ‘Finally, sit at the bar on the beachside terrace, sipping a cocktail and losing yourself in the stunning saffron sunset—or the bartender’s arresting azure eyes… ‘This is just one of the many ways to while away a day in delectable Puerto Valor. If it sounds like your idea of fun, then don’t delay—start planning your trip today!’

There’s a book called ‘Memoirs of a Treasure Hunter: Volume V’. Eleven takes it from the shelf and has a closer look… ‘This is the journal of Sudo Nim, treasure hunter extraordinaire. As it turns out, the young man I found collapsed on the way to Sniflheim was the son of this village’s high priest. ‘The lad’s father was overjoyed to see him alive and well, and as a reward, he offered myself and the desert doctor a choice between two great treasures. ‘I could scarce believe my eyes when I saw the first—a beautiful branch that glowed with all the colours in the world…the Rainbough! The very thing I’d spent all this time looking for! ‘The other treasure was a small stone that glowed with a curious blue light. The High Priest told us it was a magical artefact that would open the Door of Departure—a portal leading to a whole new adventure. ‘I’m sure I needn’t tell you that I reached for the Rainbough in an instant…but at the last moment, something stayed my hand. I thought back over all that I’d experienced on my travels, and I realised… ‘I realised that it wasn’t the Rainbough I’d been looking for all this time—it was the joy of the journey itself! ‘So I took the little blue stone and popped it safely in the pocket of my old, worn coat. The doctor, naturally, took the Rainbough. ‘And so it was that my quest came to an end. But it was by no means the end of my adventures! ‘Perhaps in the course of my continuing travels we might meet, dear reader. Just in case we do, let me tell you my name—I’m Chalky, the world’s greatest adventurer!’

There’s a book called ‘The Architect of the Ancients’. Eleven takes it from the shelf and has a closer look… ‘Many have heard the legends of Arboria’s great statue of the Sage having been built long ago by an itinerant architect who spent the better part of his life on this one single masterpiece. ‘What is less well known is that this statue was created as a counterpart to another—that of the Luminary, which stands in ancient Dundrasil. ‘Indeed, it would seem that the fates of these two great statues were as wedded to one another as those of their subjects. ‘So, dear reader, should your travels ever take you to Dundrasil, be sure to pay your respects to mighty Erdwin. Who knows what benefits the blessing of both these great monuments might bring…’

There’s a book called ‘The Birth of Arboria’. Eleven takes it from the shelf and has a closer look… ‘Long, long ago, when the Dark One first terrorised the lands of Erdrea, a hero came forth and, with the aid of his companions, set out on a quest to end the tyranny of evil. ‘That hero was the Luminary. As time went on, a great many followers flocked to His cause. Those followers congregated here, and thus, the village of Arboria was born. ‘When the Luminary’s work was done at last, the village remained, standing as an eternal testament to the gratitude of the peoples of the world for His great sacrifice. ‘And in time, the Arborians came to be known by another name—that of the Keepers. This title speaks to their solemn determination to see the Luminary’s story preserved, and passed on to the generations to come.’

There’s an ancient book entitled ‘Keepers, Dreamers’. Eleven takes it from the shelf and has a closer look… ‘Not more than once every few hundred years or thereabouts, a child is born in Arboria to whom the gift of foresight is granted. A foresight found in dreams. ‘At night, visions come to the recipient of this gift—visions that tell of the future. ‘Over the centuries, these visions have saved countless souls from misfortune. However, scant little is known of the origins of this sacred power. ‘One tantalising theory posited by the scholars of old is that the gift was received from the ancient inhabitants of the land whereupon the village stands. Inhabitants who disappeared into the very skies…’

There’s a book called ‘HISTORY OF ERDREA. HISTORY OF TIME’. Eleven takes it from the shelf and has a closer look… ‘WE ARE WATCHERS. THIS IS LEGEND OF WATCHERS. LEGEND OF LAW OF TIME. ‘SPIRITS WEAVE TIME. SPIRITS BORN FROM ERDREA. SPIRITS OF LOST TIME. ‘LIGHT GOVERNS TIME. HOLY LIGHT. SPIRITS OF LOST TIME GUARD HOLY LIGHT. ‘LIGHT GLOWS BRIGHT. BURNS. EXPLODES. WHEN IT DOES, LOST THINGS RETURN. ETERNITY IS UNDONE.’

There’s a peculiar book entitled ‘SKY FISH GUIDE’. Eleven takes it from the shelf and has a closer look… ‘SKY FISH. NO LEGS. HAS SPINE. SEVERAL SPECIES. ‘FOUND IN SKY. NOT LIKE ANIMALS OF LAND. BREATHES THROUGH GILLS. SKIN RUBBERY. SKIN DAMP. ‘TEMPERATURE CHANGE HURTS THEM. WARM: SOFT. HOT: EVAPORATE. HARD TO STORE. HARD TO BREED. ‘BUT DELICIOUS. SWEET AND SURPRISING. GOOD FOR PUDDINGS. GOOD RAW.’

There’s an old book of poetry entitled ‘Songs of Erdrea’. Eleven takes it from the shelf and has a closer look… ‘Song Two: The Little People ‘Lo, from the World Tree’s shoots did fall, The little folk who witnessed all, ‘And down did rain Yggdrasil’s seeds, And plants, then beasts, then humans breed, ‘When all was wrought, wyrm’s light in hand, They upward went, and left the land, ‘Since then, from heav’n, the Watchers gazed, Looked o’er us all, their name be praised.’

There’s a book called ‘All that Glitters Is Soon Gone – A Tale of Condors and Criminality, by Davide Attenville.’ ‘Deep in the eastern reaches of the Champs Sauvage, a secluded valley sits high in the mountains. The locals call it the Eerie Eyrie, for it is the nesting place of that most infernal of flying fiends—the elysium bird. ‘Like many of its smaller avian cousins, this bird shows a compulsive interest in objects that twinkle and glisten, and will roam far and wide in search of such treasures. ‘The most egregious example of this behaviour occurred quite recently, when a particularly aggressive individual attacked a nearby manor house. ‘The beast tore through the very roof of the building, and made away with a large silver orb—the most priceless heirloom of the noble family who dwelt there. ‘The monster was thought to have taken the orb back to the Eyrie, but a party sent to recover it never returned. It seems likely that both they and the treasure they sought will never be seen again…’

It looks like the previous year’s student register. There’s a list of all kinds of weird and wonderful names followed by a note saying that the register for the next school year will be compiled soon.

‘L’Académie de Notre Maître des Médailles – Official Register ‘#1 Conchella, #2 Fleur, #3 Angelique, #4 Jarmima, #5 Madeleine, #6 Gertrude, #7 Tallulah, #8 Chantelle, #9 Yolande, ‘#10 Adriane, #11 Sharla, #12 Oozenie, #13 Honore, #14 Cloé, #15 Cléo, #16 Scholastique, #17 Else, #18 Vivien, ‘#19 Blaise, #20 Coco, #21 Trinny, #22 Carina, #23 Bashtienne, #24 Livvie, #25 Healoise, ‘#26 Candida, #27 Alice, #28 Mica, #29 Zazie, #30 Malodorine, #31 Purscilla ‘Teaching staff: Mme Waloppe, Mme Chérie, Mme Labouche, Mme Augustine, Mlle Refaire, Sœur Éspée. Other Staff: M. Gardinier, Groundsman. Mme Croque, Chef. ‘This list is certified complete and correct by M. Maxime Médaillé, 11ème Principal de l’Académie de Notre Maître des Médailles.’

There’s an old book entitled ‘The Medal-Winning Wisdom of Lady Minette Maximilien’. Eleven takes it from the shelf and has a closer look… ‘Mes chéries, if ever you are lost as to how to be perfect little ladies, I ask you to do one thing for me—remember the example of the mini medal hunt. ‘What is the first thing we do when we set out in search of our little friends? That’s right—we unroll our trusty world maps and think carefully about where we will begin our search. ‘In other words, we exercise our knowledge of the world and our powers of reason. It is these two things on which all our actions as mature, thoughtful ladies must be based. ‘To discover mini medals is to discover the world. And this is why we seek them out—because to be a woman in this day and age means to be a thinker and a doer par excellence!’

There’s a book called ‘Perfect Picnics for Monster-Riding Mademoiselles’. Eleven takes it from the shelf and has a closer look… ‘A skullrider’s steed is fast and strong, but not so fast that the rider’s tummy doesn’t start to rumble before he reaches his destination. Anyone who’s travelled on monsterback knows that it’s hungry work. ‘Which is why, whenever I set out to see the world atop a monster mount, I make sure to pack a hearty lunch. ‘Two large rounds of sandwiches and a pot of coffee with three lumps of sugar and plenty of milk—the perfect traveller’s picnic! ‘With that in my knapsack, I’m ready to sit back and watch the world go by in style, knowing that I have a real treat awaiting me when hunger strikes!’

Eleven opens the book at random and sees the word ‘JACKPOT!’ printed in large letters on the page. It must be his lucky day!

There’s a book called ‘The Seven Wonders of L’Académie de Notre Maître des Médailles’. Eleven takes it from the shelf and has a closer look… ‘Wonder Number Seven: The mysterious Rose of the Window, a student slain in a terrible accident. ‘This spirit, once a pupil of l’Académie, is doomed not only to remain in our world, but to remain in the very spot where she met with her untimely death. ‘She appears in the prep rooms at night, and is never seen anywhere else. Her mournful face can be seen staring from the windows on cold and lonely evenings. At what she gazes, only she can know… ‘Perhaps she still dreams of graduating—something she can never do—and of the chance to go out and see the big, wide world…’

There’s a book called ‘King Charlemini’s Maximally Marvellous Idea’. Eleven takes it from the shelf and has a closer look… ‘Since long before the Medal King ever became a king, he lived only for his beloved mini medals. Gathering as many of his little golden friends as he could was all he ever cared about. ‘But the moment he held his newborn daughter in his arms, something changed. Suddenly he found himself caring about someone else’s happiness. He wanted the best for his little girl, no matter what it took. ‘For three days and three nights, he racked his brains, trying to think how he might ensure that the princess grew to be a wise, graceful, beautiful woman who loved mini medals just as much as he did. ‘Then, on the morning of the fourth day, as he performed his daily exercises (specially tailored to help him seek out mini medals, of course), he had an idea. ‘“Eureka!” he shouted. “I shall create a school where young ladies can learn of the wonders of mini medals!” And so, l’Académie de Notre Maître des Médailles was born!’

There’s a book called ‘Jolly Songs for Jolly Girls’. Eleven takes it from the shelf and has a closer look… ‘“Grubby, Grubby Grublins” (A Traditional Zwaardsrustian Folk Song) Don’t be shy—sing along! ‘Grubby, grubby grubliiins, so small and strange and lumpy! ♪ Grubby, grubby grubliiins, some are gloomy, some are grumpy! ♪ ‘Gloomy grublins—always sad! ♪ Grumpy grublins—always mad! ♪ Come on little grublins, oh it’s not so bad! ♪ ‘Grubby, grubby, grubby, grubby, grubby grubliiins! ♪’

There’s a story entitled ‘I Love to Hate You: A Schoolyard Scandal’. Eleven takes it from the shelf and has a closer look… ‘Standing in the unkempt field behind the school, the wind playing with the crimson scarf wrapped tightly around her neck and tousling her auburn hair, Emily’s eyes burned with barely concealed rage. ‘Finally, Matilda appeared. The two girls locked eyes. The stalk of an unripe cherry poked from the corner of Matilda’s mouth. “You took your time, Emily!” Her voice was harsh, almost screaming. ‘“Don’t speak with your mouth full, Matilda,” Emily snapped back, “You know how I hate that! You wouldn’t want to make me angry now, would you?” ‘Matilda grinned her wicked grin and spat the cherry pip high into the air, where it soared in a lazy arc. ‘And it was then that Emily realised: the moment the pip hit the ground would mark the start of the fateful final fight between these two long-standing rivals. ‘…To be continued! Will Emily survive!? What will happen to Matilda!? Read the stunning conclusion in next month’s issue: The Scarlet Scarf’s Farewell!’

There’s a book called ‘Zwaardsrust: A Ruined Realm’. Eleven takes it from the shelf and has a closer look… ‘The lost kingdom of Zwaardsrust was ruled by the young king Arnout—a man so brave and noble that his subjects called him the Golden Lion. ‘King Arnout was beloved by his people, and he loved them fiercely in return. He formed an order of knights—paragons of strength and skill to a man—to protect his citizens and his borders. ‘But his glorious reign was cut tragically short. The monsters descended violently and without warning. The knights charged out to meet them with Arnout at their head… ‘Alas, their heroic efforts were in vain, and Zwaardsrust fell. Some say the monsters had come to fear the nation’s growing army, prompting them to attack with ferocious force, but the truth remains a mystery. ‘Now little remains of that once-great kingdom save crumbling ruins. At night, the wind blowing through them sounds eerily like the mournful weeping of the slain king. A grim reminder of his tragic fate…’

There’s a book called the ‘Lovey-Dovey Diaries’. Jade takes it from the shelf and has a closer look… ‘My dearest, darling, super-smashing Boo! ♥ I’ve been thinking about you, and now my heart’s beating so fast, I think I’m going to explode like a love volcano! ‘When are you going to wrap me up in those big, strong arms of yours? Tell me it’ll be soon—I’ve already waited far, far, far too long! Yours forever and ever, Boodica ♥ ♥ ♥’ ‘My darling! My precious! My Boodica! How I have missed your all-conquering curves! One day soon, I’ll sweep you off your feet, just as I’ve always promised! ‘But my sweet, you will have to wait a little longer. We must do things correctly. First we’ll use these pages to get to know each other, then I’ll ask the Lord of Shadows to officially approve our union. ‘Then, on the tenth anniversary of our first date, we’ll sit together under a starry sky and—oh, my pen quivers as I write this!—hold hands for the very first time! ‘Can you imagine, my dearest? Can you? Hold onto that thought—treasure it until the day comes at long last! Yours in anticipation, Booga ♥ ♥ ♥’ The book contains hundreds more of Booga and Boodica’s sickeningly saccharine love letters. Jade pops it back on the shelf with a shudder.

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